"You Have Permission" A Dive Into Depression

"Inner Space"

Artist "N" 2022

You have permission…

It’s OK to be broken, low, sad, angry, lost and misunderstood.

It is OK to press pause on the seemingly endless neurotic search for the balm that takes the pain away. The hope that brings you peace, and the light that at times does not shine.

Searching is depleting when you are unable to find what you are looking for, which can lead you to a place of hopelessness, exhaustion and despair. It is OK to be in that place.

To recognize that you are buried by your internal anguish, the world's suffering, unable see past your hurt to what is right in front of you, ahead of you even what has been there all along.

It's OK to sit with your aching bones, your heavy back, your broken heart, the solemness within your body. To fall to the ground, and lay there, to hug the earth, and allow her to hold you, when you need it the most.

You have permission to be your own Mother, to wrap yourself up in your own cocoon and hide from the world to heal and rest, as you support yourself through the excruciating growing pains of life.

It is OK to acknowledge and to honor the road you have traveled, the long battle you have been fighting, the fears you have faced, the journeying and riding the emotional ups and downs. The unexpected tears of joy and grief, sometimes interchanging.

It’s OK to acknowledge your humanness, your vulnerabilities, the forlornness that leaves you crawling…and that being the best you can do.

It’s ok to love yourself through the internal changes, growing older and wiser, grieving the past which was just in your hands, but now it’s gone.

Where did the time go? How did I miss it? Where was I through this process of expansion that ushered me to this very day?

It’s OK to comfort yourself through the trembling and the fear of looking forward, terrified of missing more moments.

It is OK to gather a snapshot vision of your future, with the wisdom of knowing that you must not fix your gaze for too long, so as to not lose yourself again.

A snapshot and idea is well enough.

It is OK to soothe yourself through the healing of ancient energetic and emotional wounds that have been buried deep within the cells of your body that have resurfaced as bloody, vulnerable and raw discomfort.

It is OK for you to acknowledge and to honor the hard work and labor you have been doing, the digging that has uncovered painful memories buried long ago, forgotten until uncovered.

It is OK to stop clinging to glimmering moments of shiny stardust sprinkled from above, to long for more moments like that... as you slide down the slippery slope of sorrow again, dropped back into constant change.

It is OK to be low, to frown and to weep. It is OK to be patient with yourself, to take a moment, a day a week, to breathe in the silence. The quiet, to be still and steady.

It’s ok to allow for times when the rushing, hustling and bustling about your life is halted, because there is no other choice. It’s ok to allow your to do list to just sit there, to put down the pen and the thoughts. To let them drop to the ground until you have gained enough strength in yourself to pick them back up. That time will come, but it’s not now.

It’s OK to stop whipping your body to move, to give your precious vehicle a much needed rest. To acknowledge all of the years spent with your foot on the pedal, dashing through life as quickly as you can in a maddening race that leads to nothing.

It only leads to right here and right now.

To drop the manic vision of being “someone”, and getting “somewhere”

Where are we going? When we get there will we be healed, better, centered? Or when we get there will we grief over how much presence we lost in our “striving”?

I have arrived at many places I had strived for, and upon my arrival I am still here, the same old me, momentarily exalted, and then dropped back down to earth where I am meant to be. Feet on the ground walking through each moment, breathing in each step, listening to the birds and the cries of my friends out there tiredly searching.

It is OK to be your own mother supporting and loving your body, your mind and your spirit through its affliction, with gentle stretching, cleansing, healing with teas and calming aromas.

To look at the sun…to fill your body with light, to remember you are always connected to the source that is you, that is G-d and all that is.

To put your bare feet on the ground and feel the roots that are connecting you to this very moment.

To use the wisdom you have acquired to know that this too shall pass, just as everything that has come before it.