How To Deal With Wretched People?

Do you ever wonder how to deal with wretched (of a person) in a very unhappy or unfortunate state), negative, judgmental, and miserable people? The people who feed off drama and like to complain and drain?

You know the energy suckers who ruin the mood and throw toxic wrenches into an otherwise ok day? We all know that "Misery likes company" and people who have become miserable would love nothing more than to suck us into their dark lair, so they don't have to be alone in the noxiously negative nightmare they are living in.

I know we have all been there, I go there from time to time myself, but through awareness and practice, I can usually catch myself pretty quickly before I cause too much pain and trouble.

What if we look at these “miserable people” a little differently, from a more compassionate perspective?

Us humans are quite perplexing and we can get very sad, scared and lonely. We feel that our needs are not being met, so we become angry.

I believe everyone needs love, and we go about getting love or energy in some really strange ways. Most people are not aware that they have the tools to build their own energy. So they tend to suck it out of others, and are very toxic to their environment and the people in it, these energy drains can be utterly exhausting! They create drama, pin people against each other, they can be very bitter and rude, they don’t bring anything to the table, and love to gripe and nag.

When we are miserable inside and feel victimized, we tend to get tunnel vision and can't see past ourselves or catastrophic woes to even consider, let alone CARE for another. From the outside this looks like self absorption, which is understandable and normal if a person is suffering deeply and in pain that is so overwhelming, they fear they will never be able to escape. For some it can literally feel like “hell”.

In my experience, prior to gaining the tools to deal with my emotions, take responsibility for them, and refrain from vomiting and projecting them onto others, I used to allow my emotions to pile up inside to the point where I would internally combust and become totally toxic. Oftentimes this internal toxicity would present itself as drama, emotional outbursts, looking to escape or run away, physical pain or some sort of illness. When the physical and emotional pain would be too much to handle, I would begin to panic feeling like I was dying from something or other and run to the emergency room. I was looking for a time out, reprieve and love and attention. In the emergency room I was tended to.

Now, I realize that my extremely dysfunctional way of dealing with my feelings is totally unnecessary. It took a hard look in the mirror and getting sober to come to this realization, but now I do my best to take responsibility for my mood and emotions. As feelings rise, I pay attention, I write it out, exercise, paint, dance it out, talk to trusted friends, or punch pillows if necessary...whatever to get it out and to avoid toxic buildup so it does not overflow on my environment and the people in it. I also practice listening to my sadness and self-talk and being compassionate to myself as I go through it.

When a person is angry and miserable, which can be triggering as the anger rubs off onto you, remember, it is not personal, so you don’t have to allow yourself to get wrapped up in it. When someone is going through a hard time I give the other space. I no longer try to “fix” and “heal” the other, because I know I can’t fix or heal anybody, I can only heal myself. I can be there to listen, support, and guide, but I no longer take others' pain on, as if it were my own, nor do I allow others to take on my pain.

Keeping up on your emotional h