Tales Of A Social Media Addict

"The Web" by artist N 2022

Hello, my name is N and I am a social media addict!

I am just about 36 Days free of social media, as well as limits on TV time, because I like to do the hard things...and really challenge myself!

I am finding that it is hauntingly quiet in my mind, which is extremely weird and concerning to me, because a quiet mind is certainly NOT my normal.

I am used to my hyperactive monkey brain chattering and shrieking, jumping from thought to thought, doing back flips while dangling on statements I read on social media.

I ask myself questions like "is it true?" "do I believe it?" "how do I judge and file it?". Obsessively reflecting, analyzing and picking it all apart until it’s a shredded mess!

I used to read the commentary on SM and although it would rouse my anger, it also ignited flames of inspiration within me often sending me into a writing frenzy! My favorite escape!

I miss the content, I NEED MORE CONTENT. I feel myself getting that itch!

I began frantically repeating my mantra “Remember that it is one step at a time, moment by moment, breathe, DO NOT GIVE IN! Stay strong!

Until the urge passes.

I socialize in the physical with my family members and co-workers, and with a friend here and here, but I find myself oddly disinterested? I love all these people, don’t get me wrong, but I already know their stories, their idiosyncrasies and insecurities, and they are not really that exciting.

I am also getting to know myself without the guise of social media, and am afraid I may not be exciting either? I have never thought of myself as the boring type, but right now it looks like I am headed straight to boredom-ville.

Maybe I'll pick up a sport? Go to the gym? Ride a bike! Those are some thoughts! if I actually do them, that’s a different story.

My mind is drifting again…

When you are in the world of social media you can be whoever you want to be, you can edit and crop yourself and hide all the ugly parts. Heck you can be 10 different people in one day, mood fluctuations are normal on SM. You can pose as interesting, and inspiring by using photos, wise quotes and daily affirmations. People are always commenting and engaging, asking you how you're doing, reminding you that you are loved, telling you to feel better, and giving you attention!

I quit social media just before my birthday. I got a couple of texts and phone calls, but nothing close to the adoration and praise I would have received by 100 or so friends on social media!

What’s really sad is that not many people even noticed that I left, I thought they would miss me? I got a couple of texts asking if I am ok, I replied "I am still alive!"

I had an awful realization! Could it be possible that I MAY have been on SM because I was fishing for attention?

No! Please tell me it’s not true?!

So now I am not only a SM addict, but and attention addict too! This is getting to be too much, how do I come to terms with this?

I wish I had a social media sponsor to call, to share my struggle, get some advice? I don't think there are any? What about a hotline? I am seriously jonesing for distraction and attention! what do I do?

I sift through my brain for solutions…

Maybe we could start our own meeting?

Where no one hides behind a computer, and all we have to do is show up!

Maybe we could build a 3-D community of real people?

I reflect on the benefits of meeting in person and sharing our stories, not only would we feel understood, there is a possibility that the connection experienced in the meeting could actually boost our immune systems!

The social support could ease our mental distress and confusion caused by isolation, simply by knowing we are not alone.

Maybe our fears would soften and we'd regain faith?

People could start to relax into real life again, without social media consistently reminding us that we are going to die, until the fear of death is wired into our brains, we shake and tremble. That’s not nice, is it?

Hence, why I know that repeating positive mantras can help, because I know that my brain has the amazing ability to be wired!

In the meantime…what am I going to do with all this free time looking at the wall in my bedroom? I will write, dream and imagine. I’ll find healthy ways to become inspired, one step at a time.

*If you or a loved one suffer from social media addiction, there is help for you, the help is not here yet, but it will be coming soon! Freeing yourself from the shackles of social media will give you you the gift of living! Do it for yourself and your family.